Hey, have you heard of this thing, um, YouTube?

Some videos I've been enjoying this week. Unfortunately, I gotta do it link style because YouTube isn't letting me blog imbed it, so click the names to get there:

PM Dawn- "Set Adrift On Memory Bliss"

I hated this song when it first came out, since I was "hardcore" then...I even applauded KRS-One senselessly giving the fat guy a beatdown, live on stage, as senseless as it is to beat up a rapper who actually samples Spandau Ballet.

Now though? I dunno. It's sincere. It's a "soft" song that isn't "Candy Shop." Maybe it's because hip-hop sucks in 2006, but I like this. And the choice of dress is even funnier now than before. Check out all those beads.

"Christina Applegate, you gotta put me on"?

Patrice Rushen- "Forget Me Nots"

Because I have clapped, tapped buttons, and otherwise moved with the beat of many a song while wearing headphones, especially this one. (I also whistle tunes stuck in my head and sneak up behind people on the train saying "You smell goooooood.")

As far as samples of this song go, by the way, seek out "Gimme The Ass" by The Beatnuts...it's crass shit over "a joint you familiar with," the polar opposite of the better known samplage, "Men In Black."

Damn, Patrice had a lot of beads. She kinda looks at the camera in a way less Come hither and more Don't put that camera so close to my face.

De La Soul- "Ring Ring Ring" (Unplugged)

One of my favorite De La songs, one of the first efforts to rework hip-hop live since the old school (Sugar Hill band, whoever was backing Kurtis Blow etc.), one of the finest Unpluggeds ever. Yeah, Eric Clapton sucked the life out of his overrated songs on his Unplugged, but there were some good ones, and the Jay-Z Unplugged started my reevaluation of Jigga. I miss that time when the M in MTV stood for...well, what did it stand for again?

The freestyling over "Buddy" kinda sucks here, reminding us why DJ PA Mase was only a rapper for one album. But he had personality.

Leprechaun In The Hood, In The Tree

(and AFTER you see that...)

"Where Da Gold At??"

Watch the first, watch the second, thank me later. I hate eBaum's World and hope YouTube kills it for good (see this week's Wired if you're geeky enough to care about all this...I didn't, but someone hooked me up with a free subscription for reasons unknown), but they stole nicely here.

Plus, this all reminds me of my favorite horror film ever....and my second favorite horror film ever.

(That bit of breakdancing Mr. T is great too.)

"Joy And Pain" (Rob Base & DJ E-Z-Rock)

Another watershed moment in hip-hop. Make sure to stick around until the parts about witches updating Ryan Adams' website, as well as Anna Faris, Kevin Bacon, and Kevin Costner. The really disturbing thing about this is, I sorta like the beat. It sampled the same James Brown horn kicks "South Bronx" did, yo.

The Rock Variations

The Rock, still Lil' Dwayne Johnson, several years ago:
"Do you smell what The Rock left in his diaper, mommy?! You better change it quick or I'm going to lay the smackdown with this rattle!!"

The Rock, professional wrestler, WWF Champion:
"Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?!"

The Rock, star of Gridiron Gang:
"Do you smell what The Rock is coaching?!"

and in Gridiron Gang II (2008):
"Do you smell The Rock's disappointment in you all for ending up back in prison even after our football team inspired you all to make something of yourself?"

and after the uninspired response to The Rock The Casbah (2009):
"Do you smell what The Rock made?! A horrible comedy set in Morocco! With Matthew Perry! Do you smell The Rock firing all of his people? Or do you smell The Rock's rotting career?"

and on "Rock Live! on Food Network, 2020:
"Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?! Lightly broiling in a nice lemon-ginger sauce??? You don't! Because you're watching this on TV! And HDTV-Smellovision doesn't come out until next year!"

Charles S. Dutton, formerly Roc on "Roc," 2020:
"Rock Live? Sounds much like our brief but excellent run of live television, 'Roc Live'! Do you smell what the actor who played Roc's lawyers are cooking? (cough, cough.) I sure am getting old! Time for The Roc to take The Pills!"

Jay-Z, co-founder of Roc-A-Fella records, 2020:
"The Rock, Roc, The Roc...who cares? I'm making money on all three of them anyway, and even the blog you're currently reading this on. 14 years in the past. Oh, I can't run Def Jam, but I run things. Holla."

Behold, the aqueduct where excellence is created through the cleaning of the wack.

Okay, this new template might seem a little absurd but
a) this isn't exactly a custom-designed blog, and
b) it still looks alright to me.

I maybe, maybe, maybe might soon be starting a website on poker that will turn this thing into more of an updated around once a week* thing with postings about things I'm up to all the time, especially if I keep doing as much as I've been doing.

Now bring me fresh, fresh water. But, from where?

*once a week being more like fourteen posts in a week, then nothing for a month. at least judging by my habits and the gottdamn novel I'm working on.

"Where Is My Mind?" (Pixies, Surfer Rosa)

There's an odd little comment from the most random fan I've ever accumulated, ever, on the comments of yesterday's post, Lizziebeth-1 from Sydney. (Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy.) Read it for yourself, but basically, Lizziebeth read a user comment I posted way back in October 1999 on the IMDB comments for Fight Club when I first saw it at a premiere screening Edward Norton introduced. Me, a doe-eyed freshman. Fragments from my not-terribly-well-written IMDB comment (I wasn't exactly attempting my A-material here):

"This film owes a lot to The Game, David Fincher's last movie, in that it ends up with a complex plot that is solved a little too easily and non-logically...the movie basically builds up to a climax that just doesn't resolve much, and then resolves that with a further illogical ending. The laughs along the way are not for the faint of heart or those who don't appreciate black comedy, but they are the highlights of the film...[It's not] the combination of nihilism and comedy doesn't send the movie into mediocrity. It's when the movie turns serious that it starts to turn sour, as the plot twists out of control and a strange comedy turns into just another movie in the Seven/The Game/The Matrix genre of stylish, mindless violence..."

Lizziebeth wondered how I felt about this old opinion of mine, and I think she sides on the non-fan side here. I do too, but not as much as I thought I did. The movie is more a disappointment than it is a failure. But it got me to thinking about pieces of pop I never really liked even though some of my friends did, or did even if some friends of mine didn't. Opinions are like assholes; they need regular cleaning. Here's some revisions on my first opinions.

FIGHT CLUB
--A movie I ended up watching several more times, by accident more than design, especially when it was on my parents' satellite TV as I sat, bored as hell, at the old home in Mexico City. I also read the book a couple years ago, and lemme tell you, the Jim Uhls' screenplay was perfect insomuch as that raggedy-ass book is written like a screenplay, which is irritating in nonmovie form.

The first act, from The Narrator's insomnia to the very first punch that starts fight club, might actually be one of my favorite pieces of movie. It deteriorates later. A work that can't decide if it's against some ill-defined elements of our tamed society or against those who violently oppose them...or for that matter, what it actually thinks of violence and its necessity(/nonnecessity?)...well, it's just sorta fucked. Pretty well-directed and acted though. I think I blame Chuck P.

then: "...the fuck?"
now: "30% awesome, and nice use of the Pixies over the credits."


GHOST DOG: WAY OF THE SAMURAI
--Like all Jim Jarmusch movies, it's deliberate, sometimes a bit too much so, which is probably why some friends of mine slept through this. I love the transposition of samurai principles to hitman ways, the portrait of a weary, pathetic organized crime family left operating out of the back of a Chinese restaurant, the performances by Forest Whitaker (making the most out of few lines), as well as That Haitian Guy and That Italian Guy Who Loves Flavor Flav. The latter character is just awesome.

then: "I'm going to buy The Code of the Samurai and Rashomon and Other Stories right now, because this awesome movie bigged them up."
now: "I don't need to rewatch it again, six times later, but don't you talk shit about this flick. Did I mention the RZA did the music??"


THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU
--It's the most Wes Anderson movie Wes Anderson could make, and that's not a good thing. I love The Royal Tenenbaums, one of about three movies that made me cry in the last eight years, but Life Aquatic just uses the bells and whistles to no particular effect. Cate Blanchett is awesome as the pregnant journalist; Bill Murray enters OverLaconicLand. Perhaps Bill Ghostbustin-Ass Murray wasn't just acting stoned.

then: "Eh."
now: "Eh."


LUNA: RENDEZVOUS
--Lazy, unfocused, not terribly hooky, boring music by a bored band minus the amazing song "Astronaut," which sounded better when it appeared on the Close Cover Before Striking EP. But it is good background music for making out.

then: "Why am I so tired?"
now: "I need to either sell this record, get a girlfriend, or both."

That was fun. Imagine what would happen if I received comments a little more often than Terence Malick released movies.

"Workinonit" (J Dilla/ Jay Dee, Donuts) [RIP, James Yancey]

Thinking of getting back into the studio for some shits and giggles (for those who have asked after it, no, I haven't found a permanent spot to put the Orlean Cooper EP Supervillain v. Petty Thief yet, but three songs are available off the MySpace page), probably with the stuff I've written using the amazing instrumentals of J Dilla's penultimate album as my template/beats. I found this old rhyme in my orange notebook and felt like posting it just for the hell of it. The tarot card deck mentioned is a major plot point in Gambit #1-#5, the comic book where I found/stole the name of my alter ego. The Chappelle's Show reference should be obvious enough. Remember, I didn't write this for me, I wrote it for him.

Here to acquire the inficio aquilus tarot deck
Now, do you take a personal check?
Overdraft at the bank, negative twenty cents
Better make the walls out of weak-ass cement
Like the ugly new Williamsburg architecture
I’d like to pose a conjecture.
Namely, completing the transaction.
Let’s take a cab to Brooklyn, baby and I’ll close your captions.
Always makes the tight-aggressive play
Don’t fuck with seven-deuce, she makes a bad lay
Goes with those who slay with their eyes
And them Suzanne Somers thighs.
She may be connected to Brighton Beach mafia
But what a lovely way to die, worth a try
Get in so hard it makes doves cry
And then she served us pancakes
Youngest brother like Eddie Murphy to Charlie
Can’t control the noise level, it’s a Harley
Quirky, called crazy and lazy, still is
But the younger man took your spot like you was Bruce Willis
Makes for better TV than the Electric Company
Put it in the tape deck, bump it into infinity.

"Coke Is It" (Tragedy) or "On Our Own" (Bobby Brown, Ghostbusters II soundtrack)

Say it ain't so, Whitney, say it ain't go. This is as interesting an excuse to do another season as Being Bobby Brown as any, particularly if Bobby ends up with, well, the sort of gal you'd expect, but let this be a lesson to you. Do not talk about your sex life with your more famous wife/husband onstage, particularly if that show is a New Edition reunion. That is not black love. But then again, neither was this.

Unrelated: the Village Voice ran a nice article on ESG, underappreciated Bronx funk group. Check, check it.

"Dream Time" (The Jam, Direction, Reaction, Creation Box)

I dreamt last night Project Runway was redesigning homeless people.

I had a dream a few nights ago that I was in the major leagues and every relief pitcher I faced had a Rollie Fingers mustache. This might sound really cool, but in practice, it was kind of scary. And then there was the dream where I was tied by my feet being hit with vinyl copies of Beatles records.

My dreams are normally really mundane. I think I need to make sure to go to sleep sober even on weekends.