2/08/2007

Hip-Hop Lines: Greatest Misses

"...America, we love you
Because you rock and you roll with so much soul
You can 'rock 'til you're a hundred and one years old..."

-Wondermic of the Sugar Hill Gang, "Rapper's Delight" (Long version.)

America was actually 203 years old at the time Wondermic spat these lines. Later in the long version of the song, another member of the Gang, Big Bank Hank, kicks the line "you never let an emcee steal your rhymes" (90% or so of his rhymes were taken directly from the rhyme book of a real emcee, Grandmaster Cas of the Cold Crush Brothers) and has a line about Farrah Fawcett without a face. Ew.

"I dominate break loops, giving mics ministral cycles..."
-Nas, "It Ain't Hard To Tell"

It would appear the post-Nasty, pre-Esco (i.e., "good") Nas is talking about menstrual cycles rather than making up a word having something to do with ministers. Then again, it's so easy to become a minister in the Universal Life Church, perhaps Nas has in fact made each of his microphones men of the cloth?

Speaking of men of the cloth...

"Every jam we play, we break two needles
There's three of us but we're not the Beatles!"

-Run of Run-D.M.C., "King Of Rock"

First of all, only a really bad DJ would break not one, but two needles at a jam. Jam Master Jay (R.I.P.) was not a bad DJ.

But this line drew my attention because, well, what's Run got against Ringo? (Assuming John, Paul, and George are the three Beatles he's thinking of.) Okay, sure, he's more a "Beatle" than a Beatle, but his drumming got the job done. If this was a dis track, it shoulda at least been titled "Fuck Ringo." That's a record I'd like to see made. But then again, I'm still waiting on "Kill Bin Laden."

"What's next, what's next, what's N-X-E-T?"
-Warren G, "What's Next"

This isn't even dyslexic. This is simply retarded.

"30's the new 20, n@*$a, I'm still hot"
-Jay-Z, "30 Something"

Where to begin?

a) No, it's not. And pink isn't the new black, and ubiquity isn't the new exclusivity and night isn't the new day and [ ] isn't the new [ ] unless you're saying something logical, as in, "Daniel Craig is the new James Bond," and if you ever use this sentence construct in my presence you may find that a punch in the head is the new handshake.

b) Jay's not so much 30 as he is damn near 40.

c) Kingdom Come sucked and the album before it (Black, not Grey) was your best. To paraphrase "Encore", you may be less like Jordan coming back wearing the 45 and more like Jordan...wearing the teal?

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home


I like me:
I like them/they like me:

    Contact the author on the comments.