"Givin' It Up Is Givin' It Up" (Patrice Rushen, whose pre-"Forget Me Nots" tracks are really growing on me)

Hello, my name is Josh Drimmer, and I haven't finished a Su Doku puzzle in a month.

(Applause from the Puzzles Anonymous crowd.)

Crosswords never much grabbed me, word searches shouldn't be done by anyone above the age of 11 (I have to mute laughter every time I see a 40-year-old doing one on the subway...read a book! Even Mildred Pierced!), but Su Doku, the crack cocaine of puzzles, had me for a moment. Then I came out of a fairly deep depression. Seriously. If you're interested in life, you're never bored, and if you're rarely bored, love what you do and carry a notebook everywhere, you don't do Su Doku. 'Least I don't.

So, I'm with the anti-Su Doku campaign. And as such, I have to again say: fuck ESPN for trying to latch onto the craze, especially in attempting to graft baseball to it.

And it ain't much of a graft. Nine numbers= Su Doku. Nine players/positions= "Baseball Su Doku." Quoth Jamie Foxx in Jarhead, "Hoo-rah."

Excellence makes Wack irrelevant, as Sensational said, but when Wack is irrelevant, it's double-irrelevant.

I miss the old ESPN. Matter of fact, I won't take out my aesthetic (and yes, overblown...also, really not that heavy) anger on ESPN.

Disney, you're on the beef list. Disney cartoon characters have always been inferior to the Warner Bros. characters, even if they ruined the singing frog with all that "It's the DOUBLE-YOU-BEEEEEE!!!" promo bullshit. And most of all, Michael Eisner. I know you're not affiliated anymore, but I watched five minutes of your wack-ass TV show the other day. I want five...no, twenty minutes of my life back. I also want you to pay for the laser eye surgery I need after the retinal burn it gave me. My lawyers will be in touch.

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